Letter To Justin

If only you could have told me
If only with mine eyes I could see
If…if…but no more ifs will there be
Because, my friend, you are lost to me
I wish I had seen your need
From your pain, maybe you would have been freed
My memories are all that remain
And I will never be the same
You live on in my heart
From there, you will never depart.

Flowers blossom, flowers bloom
And try in vain to penetrate my gloom
Of pain and grief, of unbidden sorrow
Dawn is far away, is there a tomorrow?
Clouds fluff and fleece and billow
As I savagely weep into my pillow
Life goes on, I know this to be true
But life, sweet life, was too much for you
Flowers wilt, flowers wither
Life grows cold, life grows bitter
I hope you’re in a better place, my friend
Since you chose to hasten your own end
If only you’d known, the soul is elastic
That life may be shaped, molded like plastic
How I wish you had stayed around
Instead of taking your life, being buried in the ground.

Thinking back, I try to recall
If you showed any indication at all
For your pain, I feel the guilt
As if a knife, plunged to the hilt
Why, my friend, didn’t you let it out?
Scream to me, cry, shout?
Tell me, make me take heed?
Let me know you were doing this deed?
Life shifts, life flows
Cold winter, bitter snows
There is no saving grace
As in my mind appears your face
Your anguish, tragically unknown
If only I had picked up that phone
You and I will meet in another place
Somewhere out there, somewhere in time and space
Maybe I’ll be a better friend when that time draws near
Maybe I’ll be able to see what you wouldn’t make clear.