After 10 years of research and writing, Kids Talking is now available. It incorporates insights and conclusions from those years of work with children. Though we were all children ourselves, once, many adults have much uncertainty over how to communicate with them.  As I learned, openness and creativity were needed for communicating with children.  It helped to see the world as exciting, new, and different, the way a child does. Following are key chapter topics: Repeated Interaction Patterns Managing Changing Relationships Are We Friends? Children's Statements, Proximity, and Touch Revealing Culture: Invoking the Rules  Discipline Dogma Power and the Use of Control Uncertain Relationships: Power Differences and Seeking Adult Support Children Expressing and Controlling Feelings: Tragedy or Comedy? Initiating Roles and Play: Growing Relationships Along the Way Children's Strategies for Expressing and Receiving Affection Children in Conflict Adults in Conflict: Research Pitfalls The Emotional Impact of Working with Children Findings and Implications: Child Interactions and Child-Care Cultures Click the book image for ordering info!

JOHN C. MEYER Box 5131   USM  Speech Communication  Hattiesburg, MS  39406--5131 601-266-4280

Thanks for the website visit!   I keep busy at the University of Southern Mississippi                          How about a full in Hattiesburg, MS with:                                                 VITA? RESEARCH ,   TEACHING,                                                          Some information about my and SERVICE.                          EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND.                                             Past FAMILY PICTURES.

    Most recently, I have spent several years observing and interacting with children and staff at a local Child Development Center.   It has been fascinating to see how children learn to manage relationships in one of their first organizations outside of the family.
    Here are five key guiding principles that should guide our communication with small children (they often need adult help to do these; but adults must model these communication styles also):
1.  Expressions of feeling are important in all settings.  It is important to express emotions in a controlled way, to constructively express emotions and desires through words, and acknowledge that others have feelings, too!
2.  Understanding and following rules is important for maintaining order.  Children need a sense of order in their lives, and their communication is no exception.  It is important to take turns so all who want to can talk or play.  One must also learn to balance sharing with respecting others' property.
3.  Relationship building is central to developing a supportive communication climate.  Simply spending time with a child communicates an important sense of support and relationship.  We should make every effort to praise their effort and accomplishment.  Too often, children are only "corrected" or "scolded" without the balancing praise.
4.  Giving good reasons helps influence others.  Simply screaming, yelling, or commanding messages are not welcomed by children or adults.  Giving reasons for requests and trying several different messages if the first does not work are helpful strategies.
5.  Everybody must learn to constructively deal with conflicts.  Sometimes, people just want to be by themselves.  Other times, we can move to a new area or topic so as to not draw out a conflict.  Finally, facing conflicts by talking them out can save the relationship later.  Current anger does not have to end a friendship, and for children it almost never does.
    These guidelines and examples are presented in:

    Meyer, J., & Driskill, G. (2000).  Helping tots talk to tots.  In W. I. Gorden & C. G. Waugh (Eds.), Let's Talk:  A Cognitive Skills Approach to Interpersonal Communication (pp. 390-394).  Dubuque, IA:  Kendall-Hunt.

    The following are the ten basic communication strategies children use for managing their relationships:
1.  A Statement About Friendship.  Clear statements were made about whether or not the communicators were friends.
2.  Proximity or Closeness.  Sitting next to or playing near another person indicated liking; staying away from that person indicated uncertainty or dislike.
3.  Touching or Hugging.  Physical contact usually indicated strong liking or affection, except hitting or kicking, of course, which indicated the opposite.
4.  Listening.  This involved telling others about something that had happened, and having the other party stay and listen.
5.  Expression of Feelings.  By yelling, calling names, pouting, or saying some variant of "I love you" or "I hate you," children would simply give voice to their feelings.  This category included all simple verbalizations or exclamations indicating an emotion.
6.  Engaging in Conflict.  Whether confronting another child over a desired toy, or attempting to manage a problem to please both parties, children would regularly engage in conflict.
7.  Joking or Teasing.  Having the effect of symbolically separating one child or group from another, or showing that a relationship was going well, use of humor was a common strategy.
8.  Playing or Taking Roles with one another.  Often interactions began with a simple assignment of roles for a game, or relationships were established as children simply inserted themselves in a game role for a time.
9.  Use of Control.  People liked to be given power or consent to the enactment of power by others, to maintain a sense of order.
10.  Appeal to Rules.  One or both parties would claim that rules for behavior determined what should be done, or, alternatively, point out that they had been violated.
        More details of the study which brought out the above may be found in:

    Meyer, J., & Driskill, G. (1997).  Children and relationship development:  Communication strategies in a day care center.  Communication Reports, 10, 75-85.

The following lists some other research results that I have seen into print:

    Meyer, J. (2000).  Humor as a double-edged sword:  Four functions of humor in communication.  Communication Theory, 10 (3), 310-331.

Three theories of humor creation emerge in humor research:  the relief theory, which focuses on releasing tension; the incongruity theory, singling out violations of a learned pattern; and the superiority theory, involving a sense of victory or triumph.  Because each theory tries to explain all instances of humor, differing communication effects of humor remain unexplained.  Humor's enactment leads to four basic functions of humor in communication.  Two tend to unite communicators through identification and clarification.  The other two tend to divide one set of communicators from others by the enforcement and differentiation functions.  Humor can serve to unify and divide audiences, and lay out social boundaries.

By providing a less threatening means of acknowledging disagreement, humor served to promote unity among organizational members by reinforcing shared values and establishing the social order within the organization in the face of incongruous or conflicting values.  Through enabling members to shift between unifying and differentiating narratives, humor allowed organization members to maintain unity in the face of diversity.                            

Mystery, instead of being a state that must be solved or eliminated, is actually necessary for the formation and maintenance of organizations.  Separation, strangeness, and hierarchy are three sources of mystery which should be strategically used by organization members to enhance communication at work.

A system for characterizing organizational cultures through their values is detailed, applied and discussed.  The unique values advocated in an organization can be elicited through narratives, revealing how members believe they ought to behave as participants in their unique organizational culture, and how they persuasively advocate those values through narratives.               

The 1992 presidential debates were unique in history in that several substantially different debate formats were used in each debate.  After five previous cycles of presidential debates--1960, 1976, 1980, 1984, and 1988--viewers in 1992 saw changes from the typical format of journalists asking questions of the candidates.  The single moderator format proved especially popular with viewers, and it was observed that more "real" debate occurred among the three presidential candidates.

Values are embedded in organization members' interpersonal constructs, which are mental tools used for evaluating others.  Personal constructs revealed personal values, which grouped together indicated organizational values such as consideration for others, personability, and integrity.

For Ronald Reagan campaigning for the presidency, humor served as a "velvet weapon" with which he could make argumentative points as effective rhetorical appeals while at the same time entertaining or ingratiating an audience.

Theodore Roosevelt had a unique opportunity to enact the values he was campaigning for in the presidential election of 1912.  While preparing to travel to an auditorium in Milwaukee, Wisconsin,  to make a campaign speech, Roosevelt was shot in the chest.  He insisted on delivering the speech anyway, before receiving medical attention, and provided a compelling enactment of three virtues he had long advocated:  courage, sincerity, and devotion to duty.

        SCM 809  Seminar on Negotiation and Conflict Resolution
        SCM 725  Seminar on Organizational Communication Cultures
        SCM 610  Problems in Organizational Communication
        SCM 609  Seminar on Humor and Communication Research
        SCM 450  Seminar on Humor in Communication
        SCM 425  Communication and Conflict Resolution
        SCM 420  Organizational Communication II
        SCM 410  Organizational Communication I
        SCM 330  Small Group Communication
        SCM 320  Business and Professional Speaking
        SCM 312  Interviewing
        SCM 305  Interpersonal Communication
        SCM 111  Oral Communication
        UNV 101 University Success Skills (First Year/Transfer Orientation)

Back at the University of Kansas, I taught the following as a Graduate Teaching Assistant in the Department of Communication Studies:

        COMS 331   Persuasive Speaking
        COMS 310   Introduction to Organizational Communication
        COMS 150   Personal Communication
        COMS 130   Fundamentals of Speech

    Teaching should not involve simply the transfer of knowledge, but a creation and stimulation of the ability to think.  Thus, teaching is far more than lecturing in a classroom.
    Teaching should be a learning experience for the instructor as well as for the students.  No one can know all there is to know about a subject, or have thought all there is to be thought about it.  In describing new material to students, some aspects or implications of it are new to the instructor as well.  If this is not happening, the teacher is not thinking about the material, and therefore can hardly expect to motivate students to do so.
    For true interest in the material to be generated, interaction between teacher and student must form at least a part of the experience.  Otherwise, a teacher may simply return time and again to say what needs to be said to each class, rather than trying to communicate with students.  Students, in turn, may take notes on or read the material, yet gain nothing from it in their lives.  To prevent this, a stimulation of interaction can also stimulate thought in both parties.
    This is not to say that polished, organized, well-delivered lectures are not desirable.  But all aspects of the communication loop, including speaker, message, receivers and their feedback, should be complete.  Teaching is in itself effective communication.
    When giving assignments and setting standards, one should be as clear and specific as possible about expectations.  What ambiguity remains should be left to the creativity of students.  It is not effective teaching to expect students to "mind-read" and produce a product exactly as the teacher desires, unless a teacher has specifically set forth the basic guidelines to follow.  Generally, assignments with no ambiguity, allowing little chance for creativity and thought, are less effective in teaching.
    Assignments turned in should be graded and returned as soon as possible.  Just as anyone wants a response to messages sent out, students want a response to theirs.  The feedback should be clear about the grade, reasons for it and suggestions for improvement.  After all, a grade should not be desired in itself, but as an indicator to show what was done effectively and to show what can be done better.
    Teaching and learning should both be fun.  But both are also hard work.  Neither should be absent from the experience.  If there is no pain and all happiness, nothing new may be learned or taught.  Concurrently, if there is no reward or exhilaration in learning, one may wonder "what is the purpose?" and give up entirely.  A teacher's eternal challenge is to balance these two competing elements of learning to make students and teachers both better persons in the end.

I have served on over 30 Ph.D. student committees, as well as five M. A. student committees (since we rarely have M. A.s who actually write the thesis!).
    The following are the Ph.D. graduates:

• Kelly Herold (1995)
• Steven J. Madden (1995)
• Ann Rosenthal (1995)
• Sabrena Parton (1996)
• Gary Boue (1997)
• David Jussely (1997)
• Cheng-tao Liu (1997)
• Suzannah Patterson (1998)
• Richard Knight (2000)
• Mark Henderson (2003)
• Merry George (2003)
• Thomas Huebner (2003)
• William Giles Lindley (2003)
  

• Doran O'Donnell (2003)
• Stephanie Thomson (2003)
• Sylvia Goldman (2003)

• Monette Callaway (1996)
• April Dupree (1998)
  
• Kelli Bennett (2002)

• Patty Malone (2000)

Along with advising students majoring in Speech Communication and Communication, I have served as a General Studies advisor for students taking core required courses as undecided majors since June of 1995.

I was elected by colleagues to the USM Faculty Senate in 2000, where for two years I have chaired the Faculty Welfare Committee.  

Chosen to chair and earlier served as secretary of the Applied Communication Division of the Southern States Communication Association.  Also elected in 2000 as SSCA's representative to the National Communication Association's Nominating Committee.

Ph. D., 1991, University of Kansas, Lawrence.     (Communication Studies)
    Dissertation:  Values and Narratives in Organizational Messages.

M. A., 1988, University of Kansas, Lawrence.      (Communication Studies)
    Thesis:  Ronald Reagan and Humor:  Three Theoretical Approaches to a Politician and
        His Velvet Weapon.

B. S., 1986, Phillips University, Enid, Oklahoma.     (Major:  Mass Communication)
    Coursework included writing for newspaper publication and radio broadcast and assisting in
        the filming of an educational documentary.

High School:  Bear Creek High School, Lakewood, Colorado, 1978-1982.

Work Experience:
ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR, Speech Communication Department, University of Southern Mississippi, Hattiesburg, MS
    8/1996 -
ASSISTANT PROFESSOR, Speech Communication Department, University of Southern Mississippi, Hattiesburg, MS
    8/1991 - 8/1996
GRADUATE TEACHING ASSISTANT, Communication Studies Department, University of Kansas, Lawrence, KS
    8/1986 - 5/1991
GRADUATE ASSISTANT TO THE DIRECTOR OF GRADUATE STUDIES, Communication Studies Department, University of Kansas, Lawrence, KS
    9/1988 - 5/1990
CASHIER, Golden Foods, Lakewood, CO
    5/1983 - 8/1983; 5/1986 - 8/1986
BROADCAST PRODUCTION INTERN, KGWA-AM/KUAL-FM, Enid, OK
    10/1985 - 3/1986
OFFICE ASSISTANT, Gary-Williams Oil Producer, Denver, CO
    5/1985 - 8/1985; 12/1985
ASSISTANT EDITOR, Phillips University Haymaker, Enid, OK
    1/1984 - 5/1984; 8/1984 - 12/1984
BROADCAST NEWS INTERN, KDEN News Radio, Denver, CO
    5/1984 - 8/1984
RECEIVING WORKER, Montgomery Ward, Lakewood, CO
    5/1984 - 8/1984
OFFICE TRAINEE, Amoco Production Company, Denver, CO
    6/1982 - 8/1982